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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pulling Teeth

""
-

Just when you thought it was safe to step back into the school compound...

BANG!



The time has come for the final paper of 2009's SPM. No it's not a question paper, nor is it an answer script, but it's the ultimate paper of the whole exam. It's the paper that everyone's been waiting for. Some anticipated it, some can't wait for it, some don't want it. Either way, it's here. The results for SPM 2009 are coming out in 9 HOURS and 15 MINUTES from now (time of posting).

So now it boils down to one question for me. Will I testify the forecast, overshoot it or fail to meet it. It's all dependent on that slip of paper. It's the critical moment of truth that decides how much effort we put in last year and how it pays off.

Now I'm nowhere near being a Straight A student, but with what I've got, I managed to use everything I've got to it's max and now, the time has come to reap the profits from the seeds I've sown.

Ok. I need sleep now. My eyelids can kill me.

Love,
D.A.niel

Monday, March 8, 2010

Tamil Splash Remix

"Can you feel it? Music thumping, stars are shining and we're grinding. We were moving."
Nobody Like You (Chirantan Bhatt Remix) - Neeraj Shridhar, Anoushka & Ishq Bector


It took one really, really hard tight slap in the face to wake me up from this perpetual spiral of prejudice I was in.

Honestly, P1 has brought me through a whole new stage in life that I never thought i would pull through. But today I owe alot to our class rep, Kenn.


Kenn, you taught me something today that made me realize how much of an ass hole I've been (spelt that correctly for once :)). Somehow, somewhere along the line, I went against my own beliefs and became extremely hypocritical. It took a friend like you to turn that around. I know you walk away from the insignificant, but thanks for counting me in and accepting me for who I am. I'm willing to change just as much as you are.

Sometimes, walking alone on the journey of life is a dangerous route to take. Especially when you get caught in this downward-spiraling vortex of depression. The kinda crap that happens is really silly. I mean, look at me. I keep telling my pals that we shouldn't look upon others by their race, but look at me now. I do it myself and don't even realize it.

As Jude Antoine said during one of our training camps: "God created us such that we cannot see our own face. He made it the job of another to look at it and tell you how you are from the outside because it's really not supposed to be our job to judge ourselves. If it was, there would be more vanity in today's world than ever before.

So I would like to apologize for all the crap I wrote in the past 2 posts. I've been a little very inconsiderate and I can't believe that I even did such a heartless thing. I know I made the excuse that I grew up in racist conditions. From the day I was placed in Chinese school to the time I was shifted to private school and now, in college. I'm still discriminated, but the folks who treat me by my race know always apologize for what they say, and I guess it's my turn to say sorry to the world. Especially the Chinese.

I would like to close with a little something that Kenn left in my ShoutMix:
kenn:
...saying 'no offence intended' after offending people is like giving someone a slap and telling them you didn't.
With that, God bless you Kenn, and everyone else who reads this AND forgives me.

True and Unconditional Love,
D.A.niel

Kung Fu Fighting

"And If I had one wish come true, I'd surf till the sun sets beyond the horizon "
Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride - Kamehameha Schools Children's Chorus (from the soundtrack of Walt Disney Pictures' Lilo & Stitch)


"The one thing I don't like about the SAM Student Council of 2010 is that they're all of one single race, not because that one race is Chinese, but it's just that it's too homogeneous."

"Aiyah. nothing one lah. You half-Chinese ma..."

Edward, if only you knew how racist some Chinese folks can be...

From a young age I have been discriminated. First for my skin colour, then my race, my religion and now my gender. I've suffered from racism, ageism, body-hairism, colourism, religious fanaticism and gender discrimination. Thank God they were not all at the same time.

So now, trying to reject any prejudice that comes to my mind is not as easy. Growing up was difficult, and now, erasing the bad traces of the past are difficult. It's like trying to clean a motor oil spill with nothing but a roll of tissue paper.

I found the key to my happiness a few months back. All it took was just looking at every good thing that comes out of a bad thing. If I just can't find that silver lining, I...

Bloody hell, what gives!!?
Chinese will take over in the next election, warns Perkasa
By Asrul Hadi Abdullah Sani
KUALA LUMPUR, March 8 — Malay nationalist group Perkasa warns that the Chinese community will use the next general election to take over the country. 
Perkasa feels that the last general election weakened the Malays and empowered the Chinese community.
Dr Zubir Harun, director of Perkasa’ economic bureau, who was at the Malay Consultative Council’s (MPM) round-table discussion, said during his presentation that a divided Malay community will empower the other races.
According to delegates at the discussion and documents received by The Malaysian Insider, Perkasa wants the New Economic Policy (NEP) to be the “spirit” of the New Economic Model (NEM).
“Perkasa believes that disunity among the Malays has weakened Umno, causing the non-Malays to be more vocal in their demands. They say that the Chinese are also blackmailing the government to give in to their demands by threatening to vote for Pakatan Rakyat,” said one of the delegates.
Zubir also said that Perkasa is worried that the New Economic Model will have a Chinese agenda.
“The Chinese people feel that the next general election is the best opportunity for them to gain power in this country.
“This is why Chinese NGOs, such as Ziong Dong and Associated Chinese Chambers of Commerce, are using this chance to make demands of the government. If their demands are not met, then they will vote Pakatan Rakyat who are willing to give everything to the Chinese,” he elaborated in his presentation.
Zubir added that the Malays have “sacrificed” for the country by allowing “the immigrants” to live in Malaysia.
“It must be reminded that the Malay people have sacrificed tremendously since independence with a quid pro quo policy...  the Malay race have compromised by allowing foreigners into the country. The Malays endured hundreds of years of colonization and the result is the migration of foreigners into the country. We were forced to accept this policy,” he said.
Zubir also slammed non-Malays and liberal Malays for wanting to rewrite the country’s Constitution and social contract.
Perkasa believes that the NEP is still relevant because it will help the Malay community to counter a market which is dominated by the Chinese.
The Malaysian Insider reported today that the government has decided to incorporate the proposed New Economic Model (NEM) into the 10th Malaysia Plan (10MP) in June, as fine-tuning and tweaks will go beyond its initial end-March launch.
It was learnt the delay came after feedback from various quarters prompted the government to rework its ideas and proposals that will turn Malaysia into a high-income nation based on innovation and creativity.
Among those with reservations about the NEM are the MPM which yesterday demanded it be based on the 1970s-era New Economic Policy (NEP) and should comply with Article 153 of the Federal Constitution that protect Malay and Bumiputera’s special position.
(Taken from The Malaysian Insider)

I somehow hold on to my distorted belief that Malaysia has a little too many Chinese folks. Some of them are complete assoles, but no race is perfect. I'm still trying to accept that. I'm not meaning to discriminate the entire race, but in my life I've been living with Chinese people everywhere I turn. Every part of my life has a Chinese in it. Why? I'm half-Chinese myself.

So I guess I look like an idiot stabbing myself in the chest with all these statements. What you see is what I see.

No offence intended people. It's just the crude, pissed-off conservative Daniel Anthony of 2005 talking.

Ok, back to the topic.

...I get down on my knees and pray to God to give me hope and show me the good things that come out when shit happens. That's my key to happiness.

My second task was to un-learn how to hate. Hate is useless. It brings about no good but good riddance. It's sad, depressing and full of anger. That is why I don't join hate groups and all anti-whatever or whoever groups on Friendster and Facebook.

Well, Now I gotta get down and pray that God bring me the good that comes out of the current news...Gah. Homework is tapping my shoulder too. Gotta go.

Love,
D.A.niel

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Audio Adrenaline

"Now we're here in a world that's got plenty of beer. I've got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here"
Tik Tok - Ke$ha

Friday night was a real blast (as the name suggests, it was supposed to be a NuclearBlast.). The DJ was awesome, the lighting was bombastic and the reception was great.

One thing I didn't really like was the homogeneous SAM Student Council for 2010. I mean, I can't expect everyone I voted for to win, but somehow, I can't help but question.

WHY ARE THEY ALL CHINESE!!?

No offence intended, but why is the board so homogeneous!? Can't we have a variety of races? I mean, if the president is Chinese I'm ok, if the secretary is Chinese I'm ok, but heck!? Everyone there is Chinese!

To be honest, if they were all Indian, or all Malay, I would be just as unsatisfied. The spectrum is too racially narrow, in my opinion, to weigh the opinions of all those who speak on behalf of any one ethnicity.  Too many Chinese people really do lead up to an unbalanced committee.

But heck, what's done is done. I'll just shut up and accept it. So congrats to all the winners. You've done a great job in making your manifestos heard. Now live up to it kay? :)

Ok. I have outstanding homework and I really need to get it out of the way. Nights.

Love,
D.A.niel

Friday, March 5, 2010

Teach Me How To Dance

"There's something 'bout the night and the way it hides all the things I like. Little black butterflies deep inside me."
Mama Do - Pixie Lott

I missed Legal studies consultation to go for Christian Fellowship. It's my last free Friday in Taylors so I decided to spend it in the glory of God.

It's gonna be an awesome night. I can't wait for the SAM Fiesta starting in a bit.


There's a Legal Studies Essay test on Monday, and with all I can do I sure hope that's gonna boost my grades. I messed up the Short Response paper on Monday and now I hope this helps. Please God, I need this.

After all, I scribble alot in class. Sometimes I can be pretty artistic :)


Mr. David told us a lil bit about maturity yesterday. It was an interesting approach he used. He said that we must be able to handle people properly and with care. He also said that if we're mature, we need to be able to see through others' point of view and live our lives with taking that into consideration. Of course, it should NEVER get in the way of your dreams.

I gotta go grab a bite. I've never been in Taylors this late before.

Love,
D.A.niel

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sung Song Blue

"Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline. It'd been a long hard year. She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention. She was going way to fast."
Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood

Fion Tan was right. Thursdays are pretty depressing...

First thing in the morning, my experimentation with my alarm clock's settings that didn't work set my mother on fire. She wants to compromise my further education if I can't wake up on my own. Lang story short? I'm dead.

Later, I screwed my Malaysian Studies essay like crazy. I took out all my racist and prejudice thoughts on that sheet of paper. Don't be surprised if I'm beaten up tomorrow. I'm someone who has reflexes in my vocal cords. The organ can bypass my brain at times.

So that's over, leaving me feeling both satisfied at taking it all out, and shitty for taking it out there.

Directly after that was Maths. Ok. Maths. Right.

I FAILED THE TEST YESTERDAY.

This however, comes as no surprise. I couldn't finish the paper and no, I'm not blaming anyone else but myself. If you want reasons, don't ask me not to pass the blame. Crap, I haven't even told my mom yet.

The dusty Thursday just gets worse and worse...especially because I'm still *coughing*. Tomorrow is the SAM Fiesta. I hope it all runs well. I'm dying to hear a professional DJ spin n' scratch live.

Great. I just overturned my coin box forgetting that it was still open. You know the itchy habit some of us have, the one where we like to rotate and oscillate stuff that's in our hands. Some of us spin pens between our fingers, some twirl their handphone around, some dwindle with string attached to whatnots and so on. Well, I just did it with my coin box. Silly huh?

The maths paper is still haunting me. Shit. I don't think I can sleep tonight.

And as usual, after I vent i have to end this post with my self-created word that helps me remember how I felt.

iBeDamned

Love,
Daniel

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Russian Roulette

"I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you cause I'm bluffing. With my muffin I'm not lying, i'm just stunning."
Pokerface - Lady Gaga

It's Wednesday and I'm coughing like a...

...a...

      ...a sick...

            ...*coughs*...

                  ...a...

                       ...a...

                              ...ACHOO!!

                                     ......

Nevermind. I never found a metaphor that stresses on the extremes of coughing. Maybe it's because I've never coughed so much before in my entire life.

But besides coughing, my throat feels like a golf ball. Out of the sneezing, the obvious coughing and the laughing. I laughed my bum off today.

Bringing back old jokes, clean and dirty from the archives of the secondary school life made me laugh till my stomach hurt. I was mentally crazy for nearly an hour just cracking jokes with Joel. Digging up old stuff really is nostalgic and can bring back memories that'll make you laugh for minutes on end.

Cap Goh Meh is over, thus preventing us from betting our pants off. However, we're still addicted to the deck. So how? We started by flicking each other on the fingers and slowly increasing the penalties to sit ups and "Billie Jean" moves. It ended a lil extremely, but not over the hedge :).

So now it's time for me to sleep because I'm dead tired, but before that I need to congratulate the Balloon Buzz Party Centre and Balloon Bouquets for their latest achievement - to be featured on a UK Balloon website. All because of their latest masterpiece,

(Taken from the Balloon Buzz Party Centre Facebook Page)

By the way, I'm referring to the floral balloon arch and NOT the clown.

Congrats again!

Love,
D.A.niel

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Falling For You

"Your choice is black or white, not a shade of gray because in love there's no such thing as halfway. Devotion can't be swayed, emotions can't be torn. He'd rather we be hot or cold than lukewarm."
Give It Up - Avalon

So far so good. Monday hasn't killed me yet. It's been a rather good day so far if you don't count the Legal Studies exam I screwed up this afternoon.

It seems to be the dawn of a new era for bloggers in Malaysia. Things have really changed. Once, blogging was a teenage thing. Today, even 8 year-olds have began penning their thoughts on the internet rather than on small lil' diaries with locks on them and a fairly obvious sticker saying things like "KEEP OUT!". Things have really changed through the years.

Journal therapy has long been favored among individuals who have trouble in expressing themselves to others or to society. I'm the one sitting in between. I have things to hide not from society, but from other individuals such as family members and other people whom I do not express myself freely with.

Oh now look at the time. It's Tuesday already. Procrastination is killing me.

Back to the topic. I have no idea why I am blogging like this. probably because my blog has lost popularity and good content over the last few months. The header hasn't changed much since last month after i fell into that stoopid pitfall scam that cost me 95U$D. As you can clearly see I'm still trying to recover.

It's getting late. Somehow in the wee hours of the morning, I always feel like tomorrow is gonna kill me.

I'm so gonna need coffee tomorrow. That's so not my usual routine.

Love,
D.A.niel

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